Added: Daphney Girton - Date: 03.08.2021 19:37 - Views: 28960 - Clicks: 7794
There are a lot of hands up in the air.
I have spent a good portion of my life feeling that way, and I know that some of you have, too. We put that idea in our own he and then mentally torture ourselves trying to prove that we are worth being around. I become so concerned about belonging that I become too needy. When these events in my past happened, I was crying out for help.
I was struggling with many aspects of my life and was dealing with some deep depression. I have worked very hard to get myself back to a good, healthy, and happy place. All the blessings that I have in my life have never been lost of me. But the aftermath of my depression is that some of the people that meant the most to me in the world are no longer there. The people I saw and talked to every single day are gone. Things that came Adult looking friendship Iowa City to others, such as being athletic, having quality relationships with family, and even becoming a mom, were the things that I struggled with.
I so badly wanted to be able to do the things others were doing so that I could feel a true sense of belonging, but that was just never in the cards for me. So instead, I pushed others away. I have been hurt in my life a lot. Some people would be absolutely shocked if they knew the real truths behind my depression and how deeply those truths have cut me. I have a hard time letting people in to the reality of my life and trusting others with my truths. I was stressed, exhausted, irritable, and sometimes downright mean.
I often lashed out and was a complete pain to be around.
Ten years worth of truly loving some amazing people was all gone in the blink of an eye. That cut me to the core.
I still have nights where I lay awake crying, thinking about what I could have done differently. The reality, though, is that when you are clinically depressed, you are in quicksand. I needed them so much, but by that point, they wanted nothing to do with me.
I am no longer invited, and that is hard—harder than I ever dreamed it would be. Loneliness is a new thing for me and something I never expected to experience in my current life. I have worked too hard on myself to go backwards, and I will also work to gain back the friendships I once had. They still, to this day, mean so much to me, so I will make an attempt to salvage relationships. All people are worthy of friendship and love. So sorry to hear that you experienced a similar situation Lydia. I have hardly any friends locally and it makes for some very lonely days at times.
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