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The answer might surprise you….

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W hat do you know about female sexuality? Martin pulls no punches. Her bestselling memoir Primates of Park Avenue cast her as an anthropologist observing the habits of her Upper East Side neighbours. The book caused a furore, and is currently being developed as a TV series, with Martin as exec producer.

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Her new book, out this week, should be equally provocative. You have to scroll through another 25, including Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey, before you arrive at a female name: Mary Calderonewho championed sex education.

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And even in the subsequent 30 names there are only five women, including both Virginia Johnson partner of the famous, and male, William Mastersand Shere Hite. Crucial, too, says Martin, has been the work of Rosemary Bassonwho realised that spontaneous desire, the kind sexologists had measured for years, was only one type of relevant desire, and that responsive or triggered sexual response is much more important for women. Measured on that scale it turns out that women are, in fact, every bit as sexually arousable as men.

In fact, argues Martin, the exact opposite is the case.

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Instead of being the brake on passion, says Martin, the female half of the long-term partnership is the key to a more adventurous and exciting sex life. For her portrait, she wears a necklace shaped like one. Another element in the mix, she says, was the finding that a third of women who are having an extramarital relationship say their marriage or long-term partnership is happy or very happy.

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What does all this mean, in a practical sense, for our sex lives? And there are all these new vibrators out there — and anything new you can introduce will make a big difference to your sex life. Why does that help? A thrilling activity is ideal: it can give you a wash of hormones that makes you feel new to each other again.

The trick here, counsels Martin, is for them to keep on and on asking. Men are shocked, but also gratified and thrilled, when they find out how sexually exciting we can be when we get past the inhibitions that have been socialised into us. And that, says Martin, is hugely ificant. Self and wellbeing Sex. A strong libido and bored by monogamy: the truth about women and sex. Joanna Moorhead. Sat 13 Oct Reuse this content.

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